Fight Fire with Sapphire!

Herr Hayden's latest hate crime

2008-06-18T12:27:26+10:00

Speaking of speciesism, fellow travellers: The appalling Matt Hayden, like so many reich-wingers, has been relishing the Iguanagate scandal. And in this particularly vile post, he suggests a nickname for sassy sister Belinda Neal.

"The Beast." It is as speciesist as it is sexist.

Appalling. Just appalling.

Position altered

2008-06-18T13:52:29+10:00

Fellow travellers, of course you are well aware of my attitude to immigration. I am very much for the increased intake of non-animal creatures -- particularly from the Middle East. However, I have recently become aware of a case that forces me to reconsider this position.

I speak, of course, of the threat posed by a certain breed of feline. Due to their potential to disrupt delicate Australian ecosystems, it is imperative that none of these hybrid "supercats" (and what an appallingly elitist term that is!) should be let into the country.

Certainly, they are non-human persons with rights. And I feel for them, I really do! But it is my considered opinion that the rights of local citizens take precedence in this case.

If you think I am being speciesist, so be it.

"Humorist" actually humorless

2008-06-12T21:35:35+10:00

Not that I'm surprised, fellow travellers, but the tiresome Matt Hayden has taken offence at my latest post.

Must I clarify? (Sigh.) Herr Hayden, I was being tongue-in-cheek.

I find it very sad that he couldn't see that, especially since he describes his own blog as "sit-down comedy".

Where's your sense of humor, Matt?

Ms Universe and Universal

2008-06-02T13:29:40+10:00

While appalling reich-wingers like Matt Hayden claim that karma doesn't exist, we know that it does, don't we fellow travellers?

Ms Universe will always keep the cosmic scales of justice balanced (but not in, like, a rational way). Take, for instance, the appalling spiritual toxicity produced by Hollywood for many, many years. This makes Ms Universe mad as hell and she's not gonna take it anymore! And so She has decided to do something about it. She has asked her significant other Sister Nature to strike a mighty blow to the heart of that appalling nightmare factory.

And here it is: a massive fire at Universal Studios.

Empoweringly, Sister Nature has added Her own touch to this sassy statement. You see, She has chosen to burn down the huge mechanical model of King Kong.

This was an appallingly speciesist film (and sexist -- why wasn't there a Queen Kong?) which has caused great distress to our simian sisters (and brothers) over many decades. To know that a relic from it is now a pile of ash is heartening to all those who believe in justice.

Smokin'!

Big cat gets political!

2008-02-26T13:27:48+11:00

Fellow travellers, sometimes an event that seems unpleasant or distressing at first is actually cause for joy!

Take this story, about a Chinese schoolboy having his arm bitten off by a circus lion.

Clearly, the non-human person was making a political statement. And I believe this was three-fold:

Firstly, he was venting his rage at being made to perform tricks in the circus. Imagine how this former "King of the Junge" must feel to be so routinely humilated! Appalling.

Then there was his choice of a schoolboy as a co-performer for his impromptu act. This was significant. Of course, children are symbols of the future. Without doubt he was warning of the environmental destruction that will result from the Chinese Government's plan to build 550 coal-fired power stations.

And interestingly the boy's left arm was taken. No accident there. Our feisty feline fellow traveller was pointing out that the nation's communist voice was being drowned out by the capitalist cacophony.

These motivations are obvious to anyone with any sensitivity. But of course the usual suspects will blame "brutal" nature, wring their hands about it and call for better security. But they will never, ever address the root causes.

Sound familiar, fellow travellers?

"Sir" Edmund Hillary

2008-01-11T22:36:40+11:00

Fellow travellers, with so many people worldwide finally coming round to our Gaia-friendly, culturally sensitive worldview, it's depressing when you see a return to the outmoded paradigms of the past.

The latest example is the global outpouring of grief and admiration for the late "Sir" Edmund Hillary. I mean, the way people are carrying on, you'd think he was some kind of hero!

Even some on the green left have expressed admiration for him! But it must be remembered that "Sir" Edmund Hillary was not a friend of Nature; he was a peenie waving rapist of Her.

He deliberately set out to conquer Everest, remember.

Why the belligerence, Edmund? What had Everest ever done to you?

Well, he can't answer that. And just as well. So I'll answer for him:

You see, Hillary hated mountains for the same reason all men hate all women: merely because they are there.

And not only did he hate mountains and women; he hated our six-legged fellow travellers as well! You see, this appalling testoseroid was a bee-keeper before becoming a mountaineer. So, he funded his Himalayan ~~expedition~~ exploitation by incarcerating non-human persons and harvesting their abdomens.

The fact that so many people are lauding this monster is appalling enough. But most disturbing is this reaction from the Sherpas he so cruelly oppressed. Sadly, yet another case of the colonised participating in their own oppression.

Appalling. Just appalling.

Capitalism fuels sexism!

2008-01-07T13:06:54+11:00

Fellow travellers, as you well know appalling reactionaries are fond of denying the link between our -- sorry, their -- appalling consumerist culture and the commodification of women.

Well, if they were to read this story about disturbing harassment of women at Summernats in Canberra then they would have to accept the undeniable truth of our argument.

Fellow traveller Kevin Rudd has shown he is serious about addressing climate change by ratifying the Kyoto Protocol. And I hope he will also work at deconstructing the appalling patriarchal, sexist, Gaia-phobic culture that still dominates in this country. As the Summernats frenzy shows so clearly, oil is at the root of both these scourges.

He really has no alternative but to ban the use of all fossil fuels immediately. He'd be ~~killing~~ liberating two birds with one stone, then.

My "silence"

2007-12-22T13:34:37+11:00

Fellow travellers, the appalling reich winger Matt Hayden has been stalking me again. His latest vile attack: the claim that I have taken a "vow of silence" .

You wish, Matt! But you and all your vicious conservative cronies should know that I will never be silenced. Never!

And why? Because those in search of spiritual succour need me, that's why. While I am an enlightened soul who has achieved the very highest levels of spiritual awareness, I am -- and will always remain -- their humble servant.

But to the issue of my lack of blog posts lately: I do have a very good reason for this, and I will enlighten my loyal readers in my own good time -- not when Herr Hayden wants me to.

Cool it, Matt!

2007-10-28T15:52:31+11:00

The appalling Matt Hayden continues to make light of the planet's impending doom. Here, he attempts humour with a facetious post about the rise in naked sleepwalking being caused by global warming.

The reich-winger thinks he's being "ironic". But the real irony is that his joke may actually be closer to the truth than he realises.

Ambient temperature has long been linked to sleep quality. And it is not unreasonable to suggest that someone who feels hot and bothered might attempt to disrobe.

Matt may not like it, but the fact is that climate change will increase a whole range of social ills, including violence.

Will he ever learn?

Yougogirls!

2007-09-30T15:27:51+10:00

Fellow travellers I have been heartened by news of a small victory in our crusade. You see, the Anglican Church has come one step closer to ordaining women as bishops.

Of course, the peenie-wavers are violently opposed to this change. Arch~~bishop~~enemy "Dr" Peter Jensen says that the issue is "not a male-female thing" and that many women are also opposed to the ordination of women. (Well, maybe so, if they are cowering before some glaring testosteroid ominously jangling his genitalia!)

I mean, really. "Not a male-female thing"? Sure, like the hatred of Muslims is "not a race thing".

Appalling. Just appalling.