Fight Fire with Sapphire!

Via the appalling Tim Blair Jocelyn and I have learned of an outrageously speciesist and sexist campaign of violence.  A woman called Dawn Houston has been crossing dogs and cats to produce an "amusing" hybrid called the "puppykat" . 

Oh, hilarious ... NOT!

Houston, we have a problem!  To combine the DNA of dogs and cats is not just inappropriate; it is a crime against (Sister) Nature!  It is also an act of genocide.  Much as the pallid peenie-wavers of the past attempted to interbreed the little black people into oblivion through "benign" assimilationist policies, you are slowly destroying the genetic (and subsequently cultural) identity of the feline race. 

And the worst thing?  You find it funny. 

Appalling.  Just appalling. 

Oh joy!  Joy and cat dancing! 

As you'll see in this article, cities such as New York and London will be completely underwater in decades. Sister Nature has obviously had enough of the appalling soiling caused by SUV-driving peenie-wavers and their brothers-in-arms across the Atlantic.  Of course, She could decide not to react in this way, but has obviously conferred with Her feisty fellow traveller Ms Universe and altered Her "laws" to bring about this effect to teach the neo-cons a lesson! 

The story does get some of its information wrong however.  Namely this bit: 

 

Such a rise would threaten cities such as London, New York, Bombay and Tokyo. Large parts of the Netherlands, Bangladesh and Florida would be inundated, and even smaller rises would flood extreme low-lying areas, such as several Pacific islands and New Orleans.

Of course, Bombay, Tokyo, and Bangladesh will be spared Her wrath, as will those Pacific islands.  They have lots of little black, yellow and swarthy people in them, who are all much closer to Nature than the white races.  And New Orleans?  It is part of the Great McSatan, but it has already suffered Katrina -- which, contrary to the neo-con line, was a man-made catastrophe -- so it will not be flooded either.

Just when I forget how appalling Matt Hayden can be, he makes a point of reminding me! 

Now, he's violating fellow traveller Julia Gillard with his vicious blog-posts. 

Obviously attempting to be "humorous" -- Matt, hadn't you heard: only left-wingers can be funny! -- he has dubbed her the "Red Widow".

And he envisages a scenario in which Ms Gillard cooks and consumes a testosteroid after coitus.  This says a whole lot more about him than it does about her.

Unlike Herr Hayden, I personally (and politically) find the scenario he envisages most empowering, and wish it were acted out on the temporal plane more often. 

Black widow spiders do certainly subvert the dominant paradigm by literally consuming their significant others, and if some non-animal persons of the superior gender were to see them as role models and replicate their actions the world would be a much safer and more loving place.   

Fellow travellers, it seems the felinophobic campaign of the evil neo-cons is having the desired effect.  Teutonic cat-fanciers are already trying to get rid of their beloved moggies.  This kind of wedge politics is just so typical of the right, isn't it?

Well, neo-cons, you may be able to destroy a few alternative relationships with this diabolical tactic, but it won't all be plain sailing. I know that there are many, many more reconstructed testosteroids like myself who with their feisty felines at their side are just a little bit more determined than those described in the article. And even if you conquer them, well, I can assure you of one thing:  You will never get between Jocelyn and me.

Never! 

When AIDS first hit in the 1980s, many of us on the left thought that it was created by homophobic scientists to kill off the gay population.  But we were very wrong!  Recent herstory has proved it was designed to exterminate the little black people.  Particularly the lesbian ones. 

Similarly, although at face value it appears that bird flu was engineered to decimate our feathered fellow travellers, the actual, intended target is higher up the food chain. 

No, fellow travellers, it's not women.  It is pussies. 

And this is the first step in what these diabolical speciesists hope will be a cataclysmic catastrophe!

But why?  Why would they want to do this?  How could the decimation of the moggie community benefit the neocon agenda?

The answer lies in the right-wing, conservative yearning for the paradigms of the past -- namely, the patriarchal, masculinist "bond" between males and canines.  Remember, "a dog is a man's best friend".  To say that a cat can be a person's significant other is a cultural shift they find much too threatening.  Hence this latest scourge they have unleashed upon the world.

Chilling.  Truly chilling.  (And, needless to say, most upsetting for Jocelyn.)